The 'F' Word

Sunday, April 6, 2014

I have something to confess.....

I'm a feminist.

For some reason I don't understand, feminism has gotten a bad rap (especially in the Mormon church). But when I say feminism, I just mean I believe in gender equality. Simple. Not controversial- right?


I'm continually surprised that this is a controversial topic. That people seem intent on focusing on ways in which we are different, rather than on how we can treat all people with equal respect, value, and consideration for their opinions.

If there's anyone reading this post that doesn't know me, there's a little bit of background that you'll need at this point. I'm a very religious person and am a life-long member of the Mormon church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints). I go to church every Sunday and for the most part, live my religion. If I refer to 'the church' in this post, I'm referring to the Mormon church. I'm also single, 30-something, never been married.

There are growing feminist movements in the church, one of which is Ordain Women. I have mixed thoughts/feelings about this movement, but I think it's worth examining something that makes me a bit uncomfortable. In this post, I'll also be referring to this article, which details the response of the church to the Ordain Women request to attend the priesthood session of general conference.

First of all, I am uncomfortable with an aspect of the Ordain Women movement.... Maybe because I’m culturally conditioned to feel that priesthood is just for men. Or, maybe because I do think it’s a matter of revelation- we can ask for the priesthood but ultimately, it’s up to God. It’s His priesthood. Also, in some ways, I feel that women already have godly power. We get a glimmer of that in the temple and I think in heaven, women will more fully be able to exercise that power. (This is a topic for another post).


There's another aspect of this movement (and other Mormon feminist movements) that resonates with me. I do want to see more gender equality in the church. I would like to see women leaders speak in conference more often, women seen and respected for being gospel scholars, and women valued for their opinions and insight.

Now on to the response from the church's PR department to the Ordain Women request to attend conference: there is something about this response that bothers me greatly. The PR person seems to indicate that one of the reasons this issue isn’t being considered is because the vast majority of women don’t want it. But if the vast majority of women in the church did want the priesthood, does that mean it would be considered more seriously? It just really bothers me when members of the church say declarative statements like, ‘women aren’t meant to have the priesthood and never will’…. For one, no one can say women will never have the priesthood. No one. If it really is up to God, He can make a declaration at any time and give women the priesthood.

Also, as far as the bigger issue here- I really see this movement as women who want to be treated as equals in this church. I get that. That message resonates with me. As a single woman, I feel especially vulnerable to being treated as a second-class citizen. I don’t have a spouse to back me up if needed. It’s just me- a single woman. The lowest-valued member of the church. I know single men get a lot of condemnation for not being married, but they (for the most part) are still considered highly datable and desirable. For me, what is my value in the church if I'm not a mother or a wife? I’m someone that needs charity- a burden on the society of the church. That’s all bullshit of course, but it’s how I feel.

Now- I'm still Mormon and intend to stay that way. No religion is perfect because people aren't perfect. It doesn't make me question my faith when I see people being judgmental or lacking compassion. I think that's an aspect of human nature. I still love my religion and find great beauty and hope in the gospel of Christ.

Ok- back to priesthood. I have a wish: I wish people would listen to these women's concerns with a compassionate ear. I wish these women would be invited to SLC to help figure out ways we can help women feel equally valued in the church. I wish people would show compassion and help silence the angry backlash that these women’s movements are getting. An open, compassionate dialogue. That’s what I wish.

The strangest blog you'll ever read......

Monday, March 17, 2014

I haven't blogged in a long time and don't know if I have any more followers, but I'm going to make (yet another) change. I'm not going to be blogging about fashion (much) anymore. I'm going to convert this back to more of a personal blog. I just have a lot of things I've been pondering and feel they deserve my time a little more than shoes and handbags (although fashion can be truly fabulous). So- be warned- deep thoughts coming soon!


Unique dress

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

This is a BCBG dress from their runway collection about 2 years ago. I love the uniqueness of the cut. It looks different from every angle because of the diagonal panels. BCBG always has unique looks. Some of them, I hate. But, when they get it right- it's really right. I'm enjoying their current collection this season as well.

Dress: BCBG, runway collection from 2 years ago
Shoes: Coach (a few years ago)


Sunday, December 23, 2012

I love a feminine, classy outfit. I found this bow blouse at JCrew. I couldn't resist pairing it with bow pearl earrings and a Kate Spade handbag (with a bow). Since the blouse is full, I matched it with this red pencil skirt from Ann Taylor. It is Christmas time after all. Merry Christmas everyone!


Blouse: JCrew Bow neck top in bow print
Skirt: Ann Taylor, purchased a year ago
Earrings: Kate Spade, here's a similar pair
Handbag: Kate Spade, purchased a few years ago
Bracelet: Ann Taylor, purchased a few years ago
Shoes: Christian Louboutin Simple Pump

Mistletoe and holiday parties

Monday, December 17, 2012

I love this time of year- with all the holiday spirit, Christmas parties, delicious food, beautiful music, and great reasons to dress up. I got this tulle skirt from Anthropologie and wore it to a Christmas party this weekend. They had a photo booth at the party, so we took some great shots. :) Merry Christmas everyone!

So many little time.......

Skirt: Anthropologie Karinska Tulle Skirt in Ivory
Top: Asos Blouse with diagonal pleats, shown in this post
Shoes: Kate Spade Krysta
Belt: Tarnish skinny sparkle bow belt
Earrings: Kate Spade skinny mini bow drop earrings

Floral Dress

Friday, December 7, 2012

I know it's not very wintery, but I love this floral dress from JCrew. It's actually a blouse and skirt (in the same pattern- hothouse floral). It's a light chiffon print and so beautiful. Hey, I live in sunny California, so I get to wear these kinds of things in the winter :)

Dress: JCrew Collection Skirt in Hothouse Floral. I also bought the blouse in the same pattern.
Shoes: Christian Louboutin Simple Pump 100 (These shoes were one of my birthday presents to myself :)

Kimono style dress

Friday, November 30, 2012

It seems rare that I find a dress I can wear without any modifications. This is a great one from Anthropologie. It has a bit of a kimono flare- which I love. It's a relaxed fit, but with a great belt to accentuate the waist. And, the peacock feathers in the print are fantastic. Love it.

Dress: Anthropologie Plumes Kimono Midi Dress
Shoes: Coach, purchased a few years ago
Necklace: Ann Taylor, purchased a few years ago

Christmas Creche Exhibit

Monday, November 26, 2012

I love the holiday season. Every year, my church puts on this Christmas Creche Exhibit. They display nativities from all over the world. There are musical performances throughout the day and they try to make it kid-friendly (with puppet shows, etc.). I'm playing in a bell choir this year, which will be an adventure. :) If you're in the bay area the first weekend of December, come check it out.

Go to this website for more details.

Who wants to see beautiful shoes?

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving! I bought these shoes as part of my birthday shopping spree in October. I planned this entire outfit around these shoes because I think they're just adorable! They're from Kate Spade, of course :)

Shoes: Kate Spade Krysta
Skirt: Kate Spade Jill Skirt in Yarrow, also shown here
Shirt: Asos blouse with diagonal pleats, also shown here
Sweater: Boden Sweater, purchased a few years ago

Birthday Shoes

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Here's another beautiful pair of shoes that I bought as a birthday present for myself. Who knew that cobalt blue, turquoise, and chartreuse would look so great together. I wore these to church with the skirt in this post, a white blouse, and a turquoise sweater.

Shoes: Kate Spade Krysta Pumps

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