Lindapalooza

Startup Weekend

2012-02-03T13:02:00.001-08:00

I just attended a Bay Area Startup weekend and it was fantastic. I did a brief interview that was posted on their blog (link below):

The entrepreneur sprit: A take on Startup Weekend Bay Area “Mobile” from participant, LindaWatkins

http://ht.ly/8MPac

Shopping Assistant Survey

2012-01-21T12:30:00.000-08:00

Hi all! I'm working on a startup this weekend for the Bay Area startup weekend (where you develop an app in 3 days). It's basically an online shopping assistant and I need people to take this survey. Thanks!

http://svy.mk/shopntag

The 4 year itch

2012-01-10T18:38:00.000-08:00

About every 4 years, I have the urge to make a big change in my life- a cross-country move, a new job, business school. It's probably because for the first 20+ years of life, there are a lot of milestones that come every few years. So, I start to crave a big change even though I'm in my 30's and have a steady job. I've been working at a large tech company the past 3.5 years and I just need to do something different. Of course, I always try to go for something bigger and better, but I'm not sure what I can do at this point. I have too many degrees (1 Bachelor's and 2 Master's). I have already made 1 huge career change. I've moved cross country twice. What's next?

At this point, I really wish I could say- marriage! Yes, I want to get married. It may not be kosher to say, but it's true. Unfortunately, this is dependent upon the choice of another person. I just can't make someone I love commit to me. He needs to choose me too. Damn. That's the hard part.

So as I'm continuing my dating endeavors, I still need something new in my life- something really big and ambitious. Maybe I'll start my own company? I do live in Silicon Valley and if there's ever a place to do a start up, it's here. I'll keep you posted (if I have any readers left :)

Moving Day!

2011-06-09T20:38:00.000-07:00

It's been so busy lately because I just moved! I decided it was time to enter true adulthood and get a place of my own. This may sound crazy to some, but this is the first time that I've lived completely by myself in my entire life! So, I'm expecting an adjustment.

First of all, my place is going to be so cute! I love it already. It's a 1 bedroom, has a remodeled kitchen, plenty of light, and space. I plan on doing a little painting and a lot of decorating. I'm still just renting (Palo Alto is too expensive to buy). I'll post photos as soon as I get a little more organized.

And, this means that I need visitors! You can treat this as a open invitation to come and stay with me in beautiful PA. I have plenty of space.

More to come soon!

Update

2011-04-05T23:16:00.001-07:00

To my dear blog readers (if I have any remaining!). I know I’ve taken a big hiatus the past few months and as a result, may have lost some of you. But, I’m back now and have lots to say. I guess I just needed a break for awhile and sometimes, I like to internalize things before writing about them.

So, this first topic has been on my mind for a few weeks. I’ve been very sensitive and a little lonely lately. I think it’s because I’m anticipating some big changes that are coming into my life soon and it makes me extra sensitive. The big changes are: moving out on my own (without roommates) and moving to a family ward/congregation. Now, I know this won’t sound like a very big change to many of you, but let me explain. I’ve had roommates or lived with family for 36 years- my entire life! I never thought I’d live alone. I thought I’d be married with my own family by now. So, that hasn’t worked out. Let me clarify that I’m also excited about living on my own and would’ve done it before now (if rent/housing weren’t so darn expensive in the Bay are). However, I guess I have some mixed feelings about it.

I’m worried that I won’t have good friends. It sounds stupid when I say it, but I’ll explain further. I’m a introvert. I’ve worked really hard through my life to compensate for this. I go to parties, make myself be talkative, reach out to people that I normally wouldn’t. But, my nature is just more introspective and introverted and this is getting more pronounced as I get older. Nothing wrong with that, but it does mean that I have to make reaching out to people a priority. My natural inclination is to turn inwards and be on my own- solo.

Another worry is that I don’t make as much of an effort to make girlfriends. I really crave male attention, so when I do make the effort to be social, I usually call a guy friend. I have some really great guy friends. Unfortunately, guess who are the people that are planning parties, trips, and get togethers? It’s not the guys (usually). More often than not, it’s the women in the ward because 1. There are more of them, 2. They want to be social 3. Let’s face it. ‘older’ single Mormon guys don’t have to plan any social gathering. They can have all their social needs met just by participating in already planned activities (organized by the lovely ladies in their ward). Unfortunately, since I haven’t made as many girlfriends, this means I get left out a lot. Now, I accept responsibility that I don’t reach out to women very much and I’m trying to fix this. But, it takes awhile.

I need a change.

Jet Setting

2010-09-12T10:14:00.000-07:00

A post about something other than dancing.....

I bought a jetblue all-you-can-jet pass for the month of September. It's a great deal- for $500, I can fly anywhere jetblue flies unlimited trips in the month of September. So, I'm taking 2 weeks off work and working remotely for another week, which means 3 weeks of traveling fun! My current plan:

Boston- New York- Orlando- Aruba- Home

I hope to see some of my friends while I'm on the East coast- so expect to see me soon!

Dance Competition No. 2

2010-09-07T21:02:00.000-07:00

It seems like I only blog about dancing lately, but here we go again! Here's some video of my dance competition this weekend in LA. I ordered this dress from a company in China and I think it turned out pretty well. And, thanks to my good friend, Forrest, for being sneaky and taking the video as it was technically against the rules (thanks, Forey!)

Waltz

Tango

Foxtrot and Quickstep

First competition

2010-08-15T19:46:00.000-07:00

My first dance competition was in San Francisco and it was fun! They organized it by skill level (bronze, silver, or gold levels). I danced the bronze level for the waltz, quickstep, and tango. I couldn't take any videos, but I got one video of the dress that I borrowed for the competition. :)

Dancing cont.....

2010-07-24T09:49:00.000-07:00

Have I mentioned how much I like ballroom dancing? Well, I do. And, I've signed up for a few more recitals/competitions. This means that I've started to look at renting, borrowing, or purchasing a dress. Wow, some traditional ballroom gowns are horrendous. There are a few apparent styles and trends that I do not like:

What I call 'wings'. This takes part of the dress and connects to the wrist, so the skirt flows up to your arms.

As an alternative, you can just get hanging arm pieces like so:

This is my favorite one:

I think dancers want to stand out, so they go with the most flamboyant costume possible. I haven't decided what I'm going to wear yet, but maybe I'll just embrace the drama :)

Dancing Queen

2010-07-18T13:20:00.000-07:00

I've been taking ballroom dance lessons for the past 2 months and I love it. We just had a recital yesterday. Here is my attempt at the waltz and quickstep.

The Waltz:

The quickstep:

Poison

2010-07-16T17:32:00.000-07:00

It's been way too long since I've blogged. Sorry to all my dear readers. Are you still there? I hope so.

I have a ton to catch you all up on- ballroom dancing going well, summer trips, work, etc., but for now, I need to vent.

Yes, this is one of those posts. Prepare yourself.

Do you know anyone that is just poisonous? I have a coworker like that now. This person creates a negative environment for everyone. I manage it fairly well, but this has gone on for over 2 years and she just got promoted, so it's just too much right now. I realize as I write this that it's feasible (not probable) she could read this, although I don't really care at this point.

She just sucks the life out of me. Every interaction is difficult. I feel like I have to protect myself from her because she finds ways to undermine me or anyone else who's a threat. She's horrible to work with and unfortunately, her behavior has just been validated because she got a promotion.

Worse- none of the managers see it because she responds very differently to them. She also has one very important gift in corporate america- the gift of bullshit. Yes, she is a smooth talker all the way. She can make anything sound fantastic. Or, she just uses so many useless corporate phrases that everyone thinks she knows what she's talking about (or it distracts them long enough that they forget what the issue was to begin with). She can perfectly blame other people while making herself sound amazing and understanding. Bullshit. That's all that it is. Bullshit. And I'm so sick of it.

Dancing fool

2010-04-20T20:27:00.001-07:00

I've always enjoyed dancing. When I was a student at BYU (just a few years ago), I decided to take a few ballroom classes to relieve the stress business school. I just fell in love with ballroom (especially the 'standard' dances, which are waltz, foxtrot, tango).

When I moved out to the Bay area, I took a few group classes, but other things came up that pulled me away. I've had this desire lately to do something more with dancing, but I've been trying to figure out how. Well....

I decided to step it up on the dancing and get a private teacher. It's kind of expensive, but I'm really excited! I'm going to do some competitions. That's right- the whole shebang. Costumes, glitter, fake eye lashes, makeup. They have these competitions where you can enter with your instructor- they call them proam (professional/amateur). I hope I don't suck. But regardless, I'm gonna have fun.

in case.......

2010-04-20T20:23:00.000-07:00

In case you were too lazy to click on the link in the last post, I've included a copy of the post I wrote for the Dare to Dream blog. It's the story of my transition from a career in music to business. It may be a little cheesy, but I hope you enjoy!

I love the flute. I started playing when I was 10 years old. It seemed like as soon as I got an instrument in my hands, I was inseparable with it. Music came into my life at a time when I lapped up new information. I was a sponge and practiced much more than a normal 10 year old. As a result, I excelled and felt I had found my chosen profession at a very early age. When people would ask, ‘what are you going to be when you grow up?’, I would say, ‘A professional flutist’.

I went on to get a Bachelor’s degree in music (flute performance emphasis) and a Master of Music degree (also in flute performance). I was single minded in my focus and loved my music education. I never worried about a career because I was idealistic and thought it would just work itself out.

After graduation, I started to realize the difficulty in making a full time career from playing the flute, but I was fortunate to get a job at a flute manufacturing company in Boston. I moved 3,000 miles from my home in Arizona to Boston, where I didn’t know a soul, and worked 4 years at a company where I learned how to make the instruments I loved.

It was a great job at first. I learned new things, had access to the best instruments in the world, and could play any of them I wanted. I also performed in community orchestras and other small gigs. I realized quickly, however, that I was in a profession that had no other progression opportunity for me. Where do you go from making flutes? A full time job in music wasn’t going to work long term for me and I had to look at other opportunities. I had other dreams even though I didn’t quite know what they were. I just knew I needed to feel progression and growth. It was then that I considered a degree in business.

At this point in my life, I was 30 years old, had been out of school for 5 years, and was solidly designated as a ‘musician’. Could I dare consider a position outside of music? Who would even consider me? It would have been easy at that time to count myself out. What made me think I could make such a dramatic shift in my life? How could I get potential employers and universities to take me seriously when I wasn’t even sure I could make the change myself?

There have been several pivotal moments in my life when I’ve had the chance to reinvent myself in small and big ways. It’s scary. I don’t always take the challenge, but I have learned a few things. Above all, I’ve learned to be fearless. Maybe I won’t be accepted into a business program, but I certainly won’t if I don’t apply. Why should I be the one to reject me? I decided not to count myself out.

I set my goal to pursue a Master of Business Management degree. I quickly learned that I would have to take a standard test (GMAT) as well as some prerequisite classes before I could hope to be admitted to a program. I hadn’t taken a math class since my freshman year in undergrad (10 years earlier) and now had to take accounting, statistics, and economics. It was overwhelming at first, but thanks to my stubborn nature, I started at the beginning and persisted. I got a respectable score on the GMAT, passed the prerequisites, and got accepted into the Marriott School of Management.

It’s now been three and a half years since I started business school. There were some very stressful moments along the way. I got a 55% on an accounting test (the curve saved me), got rejected by several employers, and was extremely stressed that I didn’t have an internship lined up as quickly as I wanted. But, I also did some things that surprised me- I chose finance as an emphasis (which was very intimidating for me), got into a prestigious student investment group, was asked to be a teaching assistant for undergraduate finance students, and took a trip to India to help a social business plan develop. Looking back, I’m surprised by all that I accomplished.

I’m now 35 and working in the Bay area at a large technology company as a Finance Manager. I love my new career and the financial stability it gives me and continue to follow my dreams, big and small. I still feel the initial fear of doing something totally new and outside my comfort zone, but I take a big breath and go for it anyway. I’m not sure what new dreams I’ll come up with this year (maybe ballroom dancing?), but I’m optimistic that I’ll dream big and take a risk. As long as I don’t reject myself, then I’m way ahead of the curve.

And when you dream, dream big
As big as the ocean blue
'Cause when you dream it might come true
When you dream, dream big

(Partial lyrics to ‘Dream Big’ by Ryan Shupe & The Rubberband)

Dare to Dream

2010-04-16T12:51:00.000-07:00

My post as a guest blogger on the Dare to Dream blog as been posted! Go to the link below to read it and make a comment.

Dare to Dream

It was a fun post for me to write and I tried to focus on the positives of my career transition from music to business. Hope you all enjoy it!

Running.....

2010-04-06T15:32:00.001-07:00

So, I've been running with my new 'shoes' lately and I'm loving it so far. I found that I have tender toes, so I just put a band-aid on my big toes before going for a run, and then I have no issues. I was able to run 5 miles in them the other day. My calf muscles have gotten a lot stronger and my running stride feels good as well. I'm training for a half marathon in May, so I'm hoping to run the entire way with these shoes. It should feel like I'm running barefoot.

By way of other updates, I've been invited to be a guest blogger for the 'Dare to Dream' blog. I met the creator of this blog last year at a BYU 'Women in Business' dinner event. She was the keynote speaker and I was very impressed with her perspective. We talked briefly after the event, exchanged contact info, and have keep in touch. I've been reading her blog, which is basically a forum for women to share experiences, dreams, hopes, and inspirational and honest perspectives. I'm writing my piece now, so will let you know when it's posted!

The Anti-Shoe

2010-03-14T23:05:00.001-07:00

I made the plunge and bought a pair of these 'shoes' that are supposed to be the closest thing to running barefoot. Basically, they're like a glove for your foot (complete with little pockets for your toes). They make my feet look like little green lizard feet. I've tried them once at the gym and actually loved it so far. It did make my big toes feel tender (like I would get a blister), but other than that, no issues. I may be a convert, but there's many more tests to go.

Barefoot

2010-03-05T23:30:00.001-08:00

First of all- shame of me for not posting in such a long time! I really do have lots to say, but I've been busy. Busy with work, watching Olympics (which can suck away endless hours), and busy with socializing. But, I'm finally back and I have something to post that combines a good book, bare feet, and a new gym membership.

Curious?

I just read the book 'Born to Run' and loved it. The guy's writing style makes me think he's a little crazy, but I enjoyed the ride. The book in a nutshell is about running. I know, it sounds boring, but he tells the stories of some incredible (and also crazy) ultra distance runners. And when I say 'ultra distance', I mean 100+ miles at a time. That's like running straight for 36+ hours. Pure craziness.

So, he also talks a lot about running styles and how it's possible that it's better for you to run bare foot. That seemed so counter intuitive to me after living in Boston and going to the local running store. They watch you run, give you advice, and prescribe the best running shoes to help you save your knees, back, etc. This guy's point was that humans have been running for milenia without any shoes. Why do we need them? Our feet are designed to run. He went so far as to say it's the running shoes themselves that cause most injuries. We're cushioning our feet too much. We need to be able to feel the ground and then our running style changes naturally (for the better) without shoes.

I'm skeptical, but intrigued. So, I'm doing my own experiment. I recently joined a gym and signed up for a half marathon in May. I've been running outside and on the treadmill with my trusty running shoes, but I've modified my stride to be more on the balls of my feet (rather than striking the heel, which is hard on the joints). After running like that for a week or so, today I actually took the shoes off for about 10 minutes on the treadmill. Honestly, it felt great. My feet were so light. I didn't want to overdo it, so I stopped after 10 minutes, but I plan on giving it a go next week as well. I did get a blister on my big toe, but that was a minor issue. Who knows, maybe I'll become a bare foot runner?

I'll keep you posted.......

Strange Dreams

2010-01-01T09:57:00.000-08:00

I've been watching too many movies lately and it's made me have very strange dreams.

I had two interesting dreams last night-

Dream #1- I was in New York City (because that's where everything happens) and I saw an usually large plane over head that was in the process of taking off. It was at a very steep angle. So steep, that I thought it would never stay in the air. I was right and the plane slowly started to fall backwards and eventually crashed in a big ball of flame and metal into the streets of New York. Out of the wreckage, stepped a giant metal monster (King Kong style) that started to destroy everything in it's path. I ran.

Dream #2- I was with a few girl friends and we had wedding planner-type jobs. We were scheduled to help out at a reception. I got there a little late and sat down at a table with another co-worker. We were informed by the waitress that came to take our order, that we would need to 'earn' our dinner. It was then explained that 'earn' meant successfully completing an obstacle course in the woods. The setting then turned into an Avatar-type lush jungle, with vines snaking the tress, etc. I would have to navigate through the obstacle course in the jungle, swinging on vines and climbing trees, all while being shot at by missiles. If I did this successfully (meaning- if I survived), then I'd get my dinner.

After this was explained to me, the waitress again asked what I wanted for dinner. I told her I'd have a steak (which was the most expensive menu item). She looked at me again, with one eyebrow raised, and said, 'Well, I hope you're prepared to earn it'.

Can you tell which movies I've been watching lately?
Don't read ahead until you've guessed.

Ready?

Here's the list:

Bride Wars
Avatar (of course)
Sherlock Holmes
Kung Fu Panda
Red Eye

Christmas present to myself

2009-12-26T11:48:00.001-08:00

I had an unfortunate experience with my car (2002 Saturn Sedan) that started with a tune up and ended with a cracked cylinder head. I agonized for a few weeks on whether I should fix the old car ($2000) or if it was time to get a new one. I don't have extravagant tastes in cars and I was really hoping to use my Saturn for the next few years. On the other hand, I don't have time to keep repairing an older car. I need something reliable and not prone to problems.

(On a side note: when it comes to car-related decisions, that's when I really wish I had a car-savvy husband around. I take car of everything else in my life. Is it too much to ask for someone to take care of the car?)

Ok, back to my situation:
After much consideration, I decided to get a new car. The winner is:

2010 Honda Civic LX

I love my new car.

What's even better is that I felt I managed the whole car-buying-haggling-price problem fairly well. I narrowed it down to the car I wanted (Toyota corolla or Honda civic- the most boring cars in the world, buy hey, i'm not a car person and I need reliable). I then went to 4 dealerships and started talking price. Once I knew I wanted a Civic, I focused on the 3 closest Honda dealers and got a price quote from one of them. I took the quote to the other 2 dealers and asked if they could do better than that. I did the final negotiating on the phone- told the original dealer what I was offered (back and forth between the dealers) and finally got to the lowest bid. When the other 2 dealers wouldn't go any lower, I knew I had a good price. I was able to do it in a couple of days- yipee!

So, if you're ever in the market for a new or used car, I recommend Edmunds.com. It's a great website and that's where I started and got internet quotes from the dealers. Great way to go for a 'non-car' person.

Christmas 2009

2009-12-26T11:43:00.000-08:00

I met my Christmas goals this year:

Goal #1: Stay in my pajamas all day long- check.
Goal #2: Eat more sugary treats than I have the past month- check.
Goal #3: Play with my nephews and nieces toys- check.

The day was a success. Merry Christmas everyone!

Fast Food

2009-12-23T18:36:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting in the San Jose airport, waiting for my flight to Arizona for Christmas. I needed something to eat, so I stopped by Burger King. Now, let me just say that I almost never eat real fast food (by 'real fast food', I mean Burger King, McDonalds, or any other fast burger joint). I can't even remember the last time I ate at Burger King.

Anyway, I got the equivalent of Chicken McNuggets and fries. The chicken nuggets surprised me. They're not shaped like any recognizable chicken part, but like little Burger King crowns. Weird. I recently watched the movie 'Food Inc.', which was very good, but I just kept thinking about the conditions of the chicken pens and the maga food processing companies.

Ops- my flight is boarding now- more to come later.

Unfriendly skies

2009-12-09T00:01:00.000-08:00

I've been so busy at work lately and I'm so tired, but it's past midnight and I can't wind down- so here are a few random thoughts.

I've been a very delinquent blogger :(

Someone once compared me to a rubber band. When frustration builds and builds inside me, I eventually snap. When I snap, that usually means venting, swearing, angry words, or any combination of those three. I really try hard at work to control that response, but when I'm under a lot of pressure (which has happened lately), it just becomes impossible to hold in.

I got mad at a coworker today. Really mad. I'm still mad.

I would so love a massage right now.

Why do some people just suck the life out of me?

I have an over-developed sense of fairness and justice. I don't know why, but I really think life should be fair and just. This brings me to my venting for today:

Dear US Airways:

You suck. Why are you charging me $180 just to change my flight (in addition to the increased airfare)? All I want is the reason behind this. I want to know what I'm paying for in that $180. I want someone to tell me that it takes 5 computer scientists to input the data to change my flight. Or that it takes 1 person a full days work to track down the flight number and put my name on the new flight. I need to feel that I'm paying for something- anything? Unacceptable answers include: 'well, that's our policy' or 'it's just the rule'.
When faced with that unhappy answer, I asked your customer service rep, 'well, I want to talk to the person who can tell me why this is the rule'. Why is it $180 and not $20 or $1,000? I want answers.

Yours truly,
Unhappy and ready to snap

Now, in the long term, $180 is not a big deal and it's not like I'm making pennies anymore. It's just the principle here that counts. I just feel that I'm being ripped off. I won't be flying US Airways again anytime soon. Boo on them.

Welcome to my world

2009-12-07T23:25:00.000-08:00

I have so many things to blog about, but limited time. So, for now, here's a video that made me laugh.

Twilight Years from Tom on Vimeo.

P.A.N.D.A

2009-11-26T17:40:00.000-08:00

I'm now an official volunteer with the Palo Alto fire department.

They have a volunteer program in my city called Palo Alto Neighborhood Disaster Activities, or PANDA. I heard about it from a friend of mine and decided to take the course. I went to an evening class every week for 5 weeks, plus 1 all day Saturday class. We learned how to prepare for an emergency, what to do during an earthquake, basic first aid, and how to be a first responder in an emergency situation.

It seemed like useful information to have since I'm living in earthquake territory now. I'm impressed with the program. It was very well organized and we even got to work with some official firemen :).

Halloween 2009

2009-11-03T23:57:00.000-08:00

Halloween was fun this year. I dressed up and went to 2 parties. I love this photo of me and my good friend Dave (Where's Waldo). He looked so sweet and mellow in his striped sweater and I delved into a wilder side, complete with clip on nose ring. ;)

Correction

2009-10-27T17:57:00.000-07:00

At work, we have this health assessment where they bring in medical professionals to measure your blood pressure, body mass index, cholesterol, etc. It's a really good idea and it turns out I'm very healthy. Yipee!

However, I found out a shocking truth about me-

I'm a full inch shorter than I thought I was!!

All this time, I've been telling people that I'm 5 feet 10 inches (I knew I was 5'9.5'', so I just rounded up). It turns out I'm 5 feet 8.5 inches tall. I can't believe it.

So, for everyone out there who I've ever had a height related conversation with- consider this my correction. I'm a shorty :(

Lindapalooza 2009 celebration!

2009-10-25T20:27:00.001-07:00

I had a great birthday week. I wasn't really planning on a big celebration, but ended up doing a few fantastic things:

Thursday night- had dinner with a small group of great friends at my favorite Italian restaurant. I got the best dish- butternut squash ravioli. Yummy!

Here are the friends:

My friends sang a very quiet version of happy birthday- so cute.

Then, we went to see the movie "Coco before Channel", a movie about Coco Channel, of course. It's in french and very inspiring.

On Friday, a friend of mine is a pilot and took me up in a small, 4-seater Cessna. We flew to Napa Valley for dinner and back. We went right over San Francisco and it was amazing! I feel so spoiled.

I wasn't originally planning anything special, but it turned out to be a pretty amazing birthday.

Birthday

2009-10-19T20:21:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah, it's my birthday on Friday. I'm going to be 35. Wow.

That sounds so old.

It doesn't feel right to grow old alone. That should only be allowed when you're married and have someone to grow old with. As long as I'm single, I need to stay young and beautiful.

pet peeves

2009-10-19T19:56:00.001-07:00

There are a few things I hate:

Stinky Sponges: you know how if you leave a wet sponge on the counter overnight, it ends up smelling like mold the next day. Then if you use that sponge to clean the counter, the entire counter ends up smelling like mold. I hate that! I'm anti-sponge. I'd rather spend the extra $2 per week and get paper towels. Unfortunately, not all my roommates are as averse to stinky sponge as I am. Say no to the stinky sponge!

Watery Soap: Ugh, here's another one. When the hand soap dispenser starts to run low, some people will fill it with water (so as to water it down and get the last bit of soap out of the container). Yuck! It doesn't feel good to wash my hands with a watery mess of soap.

I just want to say that I have nothing against my watery-soap-and-sponge-loving roommates. They are great and we get along wonderfully. I just have to overlook the minor annoyances :)

Kidlets

2009-09-30T23:10:00.000-07:00

Here are the cuties in San Antonio that I saw last weekend. We all painted our toes and fingers!

San Antonio

2009-09-29T07:48:00.000-07:00

I've been in San Antonio for the past few days, visiting my sister and her family (5 kids under the age of 11). My nieces and nephews are super cute! They want to know why I look like their mom and call her 'Sue'. We've read a lot of stories lately and watched 'Tinkerbell' and other Disney movies. We went to Sea World on Saturday, which I thoroughly enjoyed. The water park was my favorite because it's hot in San Antonio!

I'll post photos soon, but 1 thing I've learned this past week is that 5 kids is a lot. Good thing they're so adorable.

Knott's Berry Farm

2009-09-15T20:00:00.000-07:00

I went to Southern California over Labor Day weekend to visit a good friend from Arizona. We rode roller coasters at Knott's Berry Farm, went to the beach, ate good food, and laughed a lot. Thanks for a great time, Forrest!

This is Michael Jackson's star.

Which Disney Princess are You?

2009-09-09T21:37:00.000-07:00

I found this link on a friend's blog and took the Disney Princess Personality Quiz. Turns out that I'm a Cinderella. A few quotes from the results:

Apparently, I have 'a keen intelligent sense of humor' and 'find delight in [my] tiny animal friends'.
But, I found a strange truth to the last bit of insight from the quiz.

'Despite moments of heartbreak and disappointment, Cinderella holds onto her hopes until goodness and beauty are rewarded and dreams that she has dreamed do come true.'

Here's to dreaming.

Cruisin'

2009-09-02T22:55:00.001-07:00

My new cruiser-style bike. I love it!

Surgery

2009-08-21T19:20:00.000-07:00

Lasik is amazing. It's incredible what they can do to your eye and have it recover so quickly and perfectly.

My Lasik experience:
I've done a ton of research and felt very prepared for the surgery, but I was still very nervous.
The assistant handed me a teddy bear when I laid down on the table. I don't know if they do that for everyone, of if I looked especially nervous.

They gave me Valium just before the surgery, but I don't think it had kicked in yet, because it was cold in the room and I was shivering.
They had me lay on the table with my eyes closed as they calibrated the laser, discussed my vision correction, etc. That's the part where I was nervous- just wanting them to get it over with.
By the time they had me open my eyes and stare at a pulsating green light, I was good to go. It was kind of mesmerizing and I found it easier to relax.
I heard the doctors calling out measurements and instructions and I actually understood most of it (since I was super anal in my thorough research of the procedure).
I didn't feel any pain during the surgery (only pressure). The weirdest point is when they cut the flap on your cornea and peel it back. Everything slowly started to fade to black as they cut the flap and there's a lot of pressure. So odd, but I didn't find it disturbing at all. Maybe the Valium had kicked in by then :)

After the surgery, I sat in a dark room for about 1/2 hour. It was during that time that the numbing drops started to wear off and I did feel a lot of scratchiness, burning in my eyes. This lasted for about 1 hour after I got home. That was the most uncomfortable part of the entire experience. It just felt like I had cut a bunch of onions and made my eyes burn. But, I took some Advil, eye drops and went to bed. I woke up in the morning feeling great.

So, now my eyes feel really good, but since I did PRK in the right eye, it will take a week or two to have completely clear vision. I did the Lasik in the left, which already seems so great. Everything is clear. I still surprise myself when I go by the mirror and I think, wow- I don't have my glasses on and I can see! I'm so glad I did this.

Lasik tomorrow!

2009-08-19T22:25:00.000-07:00

I'm getting Lasik (Laser eye surgery) tomorrow and I'm excited and nervous. I did a ton of research into the procedure, the doctor, the risks, etc. and feel very good about my decision. I'm just a little anxious about it.

I'll tell you all about it in a few days......

Favorite Music

2009-08-17T00:13:00.000-07:00

I've been on a Regina Spektor kick lately. She writes beautiful music and I love, love this one. It's in one of the Chronicles of Narnia movies, and only available if you buy the full album (which I had to do, of course). It's just so darn pretty. Hope you like it.

House Guest

2009-08-16T14:22:00.000-07:00

My roommate had a friend visiting this weekend and she brought her adorable 2 year old daughter. Seriously, toddlers are so cute! But, I also realized and few other less-than-desirable qualities.

2-year olds are:
extremely loud
very messy
really grumpy (especially when mom is away, or are hungry, bored, tired, or can't play with any number of dangerous objects)

This reminds me that I'm going to visit my sister in Texas (with 5 little kids) next month in an effort to curb my baby hungriness. I think it just might work.

Broadway by the Bay

2009-07-29T22:14:00.000-07:00

My ward (church group) put on a Broadway night and this skit made me laugh. Try to listen closely to the words and if you've ever been in a singles ward, you'll find this very funny :)

Frustration

2009-07-16T17:27:00.000-07:00

This post has been a long time coming.....

First- the trigger:
The past few years, I've noticed that little things really start to bug me. I've lost some of my ability to just roll with the punches. Today, for example, I had scheduled for a pest control person to come and spray the house. We set up a specific time frame (4:30-6:30pm) so I could be home to let him in and describe the situation. I came home at 4:20pm and found he left a note saying that he's already come and sprayed the outside. Why did I leave work early if he wasn't going to come when he said he would? And, I keep getting spiders in my room and wanted the inside sprayed. I was really upset and called the company to complain. I wasn't ballistic or anything, but I was very mad and told them so. I was surprised how irritated I got by such a little thing.
And it's not just today or the pest control person, it's any time I deal with people who don't care, don't think, or don't listen. It's when I try to be nice and another person takes advantage. It's when I feel that an injustice has occurred (to me, a friend, or family member). I just get so mad!

Second: background
Let me give some background that will seem unrelated to the above. Just be patient.

I am a 30-something single Mormon girl who goes to church and tries to live her religion, which includes a very clear doctrine of no sex before marriage. This is the way I choose to live.
Ok, background provided, now on to the next point.

Third: the reason
I'm going to contribute my increased irritation, lack of ability to cope with difficult situations, and agitated moods to sexual frustration. Yes, I am sexually frustrated. It's sad and true. When people are under pressure and have no release, they eventually explode! I just happen to explode at the pest control man, auto insurance dealer, and thoughtless coworker. At least, that's my excuse for now.

Boston Trip, and my Garden

2009-07-09T20:27:00.001-07:00

I got back from my Boston trip and loved it. I do miss my friends there. And something about that city still feels like home. Here are a few highlights:

I know this is really small, but this is the hatch shell/Boston Pops 4th of July concert. Let me just say, Neil Diamond, America, cannons, flags, awesome.

They passed out the blue foam statue of liberty hats. I think it goes well with the baseball cap.

Sailing.....

On a totally different note,
I planted a few flowers in my garden this year and they look amazing! Take a look at this beauty...

It's hard to tell from this photo, but these lilies are huge! They are like 6 inch pedals. The biggest lilies I've ever seen. And the crows don't eat them.

2009-06-26T17:27:00.000-07:00

I've been bad about posting lately. busy at work. it's been taking all my energy. i'm even too lazy to capitalize and use full sentences.

so, i'm headed to boston next weekend for the 4th. yipee! a much needed break

I'm unexpectedly sad about the death of Michael Jackson. probably because it reminded me of how disturbed he became throughout his life.

it's getting hot here for the summer, which i don't mind too much. but, i do hate that my work place is always over air conditioned. seriously. it's 95 degrees outside, yet i have to bring a sweater and use a space heater by my desk so i don't freeze.

i discovered what was eating all my tomato plants- the crows. big, black, loud, hateful crows. death to them all.

Best part......

2009-06-06T09:03:00.001-07:00

I almost forgot the best part!......

There's a cottage in the back of the house, complete with kitchen and full bathroom. It's a perfect place for guests. So if anyone wants to come visit me, you'll have a nice place to stay.

New House Photos

2009-06-06T08:54:00.001-07:00

I love my new place. I moved into a 3 bedroom house with 2 other friends (my lease was up at the old place and I just needed a change). I think this house is so cute.

Here's the living room.

My bedroom. There's a nook that my bed fits into perfectly. I also found those fabulous floral stencil stickers at Ikea.

And, one more of my room. There a large window on one side that almost takes up the entire wall. I like sitting on my cedar chest and playing my guitar :) Home, sweet home.

Music post

2009-05-31T22:49:00.000-07:00

I had to write an article for my ward's newsletter and thought I might as well post it here. I titled it 'Closer to Christ through Music'

For almost 20 years, music dominated my life. I started my formal music education when I was 10 years old and continued on to get a graduate degree in music performance. I’ve always been moved by music. For me, it has power beyond words. It can bring me closer to the spirit, make me cry, dance, sing, or laugh. When I think of the music that brings me closer to Christ, it resonates with my spirit. It brings inspiration, comfort, guidance, and the love of God into my life faster than anything else.

When I was 16 years old, I went to a music camp during the summer that was across the nation, far away from my home. I wasn’t used to being away from my family and I became extremely homesick. I was also one of the only members of the church among the students, which contributed to my feeling of isolation. I remember sitting alone in a sparse practice room, with only a chair and music stand, feeling sad and lonely. I got out my flute and started to play some hymns. As I played, not only did I feel my sadness lift, I was comforted by the spirit and felt closer to God.

At the last supper, Jesus instituted the sacrament and before leaving for Gethsemane, he and the disciples sang a hymn.

“And when they had sung an hymn, they went out into the mount of Olives.” –Matthew 26:30

The scriptures don’t say much about the hymn, but it’s touching to me that Jesus took a moment to sing and find strength and comfort before starting the process of the atonement.

When I was in Women’s Chorus at BYU, we sang a song called “How can I keep from singing?” The message of the lyrics is simple and pure. It helps describe how I feel about music in my life:

My life goes on in endless song
Above earths lamentations,
I hear the real, though far-off hymn
That hails a new creation.

Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear its music ringing,
It sounds an echo in my soul.
How can I keep from singing?

While though the tempest loudly roars,
I hear the truth, it liveth.
And though the darkness round me close,
Songs in the night it giveth.

No storm can shake my inmost calm,
While to that rock I’m clinging.
Since love is lord of heaven and earth
How can I keep from singing?

I believe there is music in heaven. It resonates with my soul. Whether I’m singing, playing the flute, or just listening, music speaks to my heart and mind. As I seek out the best music, I’m brought closer to Christ and feel His love surround me.

Moving is horrible

2009-05-25T00:27:00.000-07:00

I just moved to another house this past weekend and it made me remember how horrible moving really is. I only moved 1/2 mile away, but went through all the regular moving headaches.

My day on Saturday: finished packing, rented a truck, had friends to help, drove, unpacked, felt drama that my dresser wouldn't fit through my doorway, pondered having my dresser in the living room, felt relief as it fit after removing the door from the hinge, wanted to cuss during assembly of Ikea furniture, felt stressed, dirty, sweaty, hungry, sore muscles, and exhaustion.

Beantown

2009-05-20T23:02:00.000-07:00

I just bought a ticket to Boston for the 4th of July. I've been thinking about it for awhile, worried that I missed good prices for flights, but just decided to get a ticket. Probably because it's a busy week and I realized that I need a break soon.

So, all my boston friends- I want to see you soon!

Sad today

2009-05-17T23:23:00.000-07:00

This morning, a fire tore through the Longfellow Park chapel in Cambridge, Massachusetts (where I went to church for 4 years when I lived in Boston). It makes me really sad. It wasn't one of those cookie cutter churches, but was built about 60 years ago and had authentic New England style architecture (complete with tall steeple). I have a lot of memories there and it's just really sad to see it go. :(

Link to local news article

Arachnophobia

2009-05-10T22:34:00.000-07:00

It must be the combination of good weather and healthy vegetation, but there are so many spiders in California! I feel like the house I'm in right now is just surrounded by them. I found 3 in my room today alone. I'm not happy about this. Not. happy. at. all.

1 large one- I smushed, whew!
1 small one- I missed, but the small ones don't bother me so much.
another large one- I missed! That bothers me. Now there's a large, creepy spider somewhere in my room. Yuck.

Spoiled

2009-05-10T16:00:00.000-07:00

I'm spoiled. Lately, it just feels like everything's going well in my life, and it makes me feel so spoiled. I have a great job. Sure, it causes me stress at times, but I enjoy it most the time and I have opportunity to grow there (and get paid really well). I can afford almost anything I want, I have a great garden, new shoes :), just picked up a new hobby that I love (glass blowing), found a fantastic house to rent with amazing friends, I love my ward, have wonderful friends all over the country, can travel to interesting places when I want, get a massage every month, and have fun and adorable nieces and nephews. Overall, I feel very content with my life.

Which also worries me.....

Am I getting to the point where I won't be flexible or willing to fit someone into my life? Some of my independence is out of necessity. No one else will pay my bills, pick up my dry cleaning, fix my meals, or clean the house (unless I pay them). I usually love my independence, but am I getting too independent? Not sure.

Whitey

2009-05-04T23:04:00.000-07:00

After I posted that last entry, I looked at it and thought,

Wow, i have really white skin.

I'm totally pale and could use a little sunshine. I live in California, for cryin' out loud. I should get with the program!

The Shoes

2009-05-03T22:12:00.001-07:00

And here are the shoes. I realize that these are not the best photos, but the flash was too bright. Is it weird that I took the photos of my feet?

product placement

2009-05-02T23:38:00.001-07:00

Here's a photo of the wallet I purchased....

Now, the handbag. It's hard to tell from this photo, but the leather is a pearlized pink (what could be cuter?)

I'll have to post a photo of the shoes later. They were on sale, so they didn't have them on the website anymore.

The Stars Have Aligned

2009-05-01T23:51:00.000-07:00

I got a bonus today at work and I had a 25% off card at Coach (as I'm a preferred customer, of course). I think being a preferred customer there just means that I signed up for their mailing list, as I've only bought 1 purse there before now. Anyway, I've been drooling over this adorable pink leather handbag for awhile and since the stars seemed to have aligned for my good, I went on a little shopping spree.

Purchased:
Adorable pink leather handbag
Small black leather wallet (I had to get this to fit into my new purse)
One pair of tan sandals

I'm feeling so spoiled right now. I usually don't splurge on ridiculously priced designer handbags, but since I spent less than half my little bonus (and got 25% off), I still feel like I've retained my dignity.

To what lengths will I go?

2009-04-27T23:04:00.000-07:00

I was at a Ross store the other day and found the hottest pair of red patent leather slingback high heels. I fell in love with them, but they didn't have my size. I scoured the entire shoe section for the right size, looking in other boxes of the same brand for if by chance, someone put my size in the wrong box. No luck.

So I happened to be out on Saturday and passed another Ross store, so I stopped in to look for these shoes. Still no luck.

By now, I'm invested. I searched on the internet (including ebay and multiple shoe stores). Still no luck. I even purposefully drove to another Ross (this is the 3rd store, if you're counting). Still no shoes!

Finally, I'm passing the first store on my way home from work, to discover that it's not a Ross store after all (it's Marshall's). Yikes. I wasted all that time hunting in nasty Ross stores for nothin'. I was wondering why the stores were set up so differently.

What did I end up doing?

I went to the original Marshall's store and bought the shoes in a size 9 (I wear a size 8), because I think I can just tie the strap tightly and make it work.

I'm obsessed.

Programs

2009-04-26T20:25:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make:

I'm not very good at my calling.

I know I have a totally easy calling (I make the program for sacrament meeting), but it just seems really difficult for me. First of all, I have to get people to say the opening and closing prayers. I'm amazed at how many people say no. They don't want to, they're busy, shy, don't pray in public, etc. And even when people say yes, it's more like a 'well, ok, i'll do it if you can't find anyone else but you know, i just prayed in church last week.'

I made the program on Saturday night for this Sunday. I went to church early to use the copier in the library. Usually, I bring my own paper just in case they're out. Well today, the copier only had 20 sheets of paper. Not good. But since 20 sheets are better than none, I started copying only to get the 'paper jam' error message. I cleared out all of the paper, but the error wouldn't go away. I turned off and on the copier, still the error message. I finally gave up, took the 5 programs I had, and handed them to the bishopric member as I asked the new missionaries in our ward to say the prayers. And several times during the meeting, the bishopric member conducting the service kept saying, 'and please refer to the back of your program for all of the announcements'. And we all know how important announcements are in a singles ward (if you don't know, trust me on this one).

Simple task, yet so difficult for me.

Now I've had much more complex and scary callings (gospel doctrine teacher in a ward full of smarty pants). I loved that calling. I love teaching. I just hate doing something that seems meaningless and is totally logistical. I'm afraid it's all I can do to get a basic program printed out every week with people listed for prayers instead of 'TBA'. The person before me experimented with new designs for the program every week, including an eco-friendly version that was so small you needed a magnifying glass to read it. I'm just not up to that.

Blowing Glass

2009-04-26T20:14:00.000-07:00

I'm finally posting some of my glass blowing photos. This one is me working with the hot glass. It's on the end of a hollow pipe, which allows me to blow air into the molten glass.

My handiwork: (drum roll please)....
Here's an Easter Egg that I made.

And, my favorite, glass pumpkins. This one's my first try, so it's a little off center.

Here's my 2nd try. I love this one.

Sugar Plum Fairy

2009-04-22T22:20:00.000-07:00

How am I doing on my quest to reduce my sugar intake?

Today's stress induced relapse:
5 tootsie rolls
1 mini bag of candy corn

:(

pumpkins a-coming

2009-04-22T22:15:00.000-07:00

I made pumpkins in my glass blowing class 2 weeks ago and I just brought them home. Seriously, they are so cute! I have lots of photos of me blowing glass and my handiwork, so I'll post them soon.

Here's just a little taste (these are the first things I made in class- glass flowers):

Going Grey?

2009-04-22T22:06:00.000-07:00

It must've been the stress of business school and starting a new job last year, but I've started to find grey hairs. Not just one slightly-not-so-brown hair, but full-fledged-wiry-white hair. There's some in the front and some at the top of my head. I always thought the greyness came after having kids and all the stress that comes with being a parent. I think my job has produced the same amount of stress.

You might be saying, 'that's easy to fix, just dye it'. Well, I'm stubborn, lazy, cheap with some things, and don't die my hair. So I might end up like the woman on 'What Not to Wear', with her white streak of hair among her dark black tresses. It adds character, right?

Health Kick

2009-04-02T22:25:00.000-07:00

I've started reading a book that was recommended by a friend (on her blog). It's about a holistic approach to health- like eating right, exercising, feeding your mind and spirit. It makes sense to me and frankly, I'm really tired of traditional doctors. They are robots- just repeating what they learned in medical school. They treat every person like they're the same- just a combination of symptoms. Maybe my body's 'normal' is different than someone else?

Now, I've had a certain medical struggle for several years. I don't really feel a need to broadcast the details of my medical history on this blog, but just know that overall, I'm healthy and strong. It's just this one thing that's a little out of whack and has been for a long time. I'm worried that if I wait to do something about it, then it might be a much bigger issue later on. I've seen lots of doctors about it as it just always comes up (part of the usual questions they ask). Since I'm not in any pain, they seem to say, 'well, you're not in pain, so not much we can do'. What about preventative medicine? It's annoying.

So, I'm going alternative. I'm going to try some non-evasive, natural remedies. I really have no idea what I'm looking for, but probably something like natural herbs, diet changes, regular exercise, massage therapy, etc. At the very least, it should contribute to my overall well-being. More to come.....

Guitar class

2009-03-24T21:15:00.001-07:00

First of all (and for everyone who was curious), I ended up wearing an adorable polka dot dress for the 'black and white party'. A friend of mine helped me find a Trinity outfit online (thanks Rachel :), but I was lazy and wasn't willing to pay $25 shipping. So I wore my favorite black patent leather high heels and polka dot dress. I was still adorable. Sorry, no photo.

On to guitar- my beginning guitar class started last week and it's a lot of fun. My left hand fingers are getting sore (the strings create callouses), but I'm learning basic strumming techniques and chords. I think the teacher likes Bob Dylan, because all 4 of the songs we've learned so far are his. There's something I really enjoy about singing and playing at the same time. Maybe all those years of having a flute to my face makes me appreciate the flexibility of a completely hand operated instrument.

Black and white

2009-03-16T19:39:00.000-07:00

My ward is having a 'Black and White' party. This doesn't mean dress up, but rather creative black and white, like zebra stripes, referee, Munsters, etc. I kind of want to be Trinity from the Matrix. Oh, where to get a skin tight black pleather jumpsuit?

I've got moxy

2009-03-13T22:42:00.000-07:00

I went golfing today with coworkers and had so much fun, even though I'm definitely a beginning golfer. I'm proud of myself for getting out there and doing something out of my comfort zone.

More on my golfing experience:
I took a beginning class my last semester of business school, since I figured it might come in handy. Turns out, it did.

I audited my golf class because my schedule was so busy. And even though I went to all the classes and practiced my swing, I only went golfing on a range once (played 9 holes). So I was a little nervous playing with 'the guys' today. We had a team event this morning and then whoever wanted to, was invited to play 9 holes afterward. All of the usual guys signed up (including my manager's manager)- none of whom are female. I have to say that I'm proud of myself. I was a little intimidated (being a complete beginner, being the only woman, and being followed around by a camera crew- more on that in a minute). All things considered I wasn't horrible and I had a ton of fun. One of the guys in the group said that I've got moxy. Not sure exactly what he meant, but I'll take it as a compliment.

Back to the camera crew-
When we arrived on the course, a camera crew was there. They informed us that they were shooting for a commercial and wanted permission to film us as we teed off. I let the guys go first, so that the camera crew would stop filming before I took my turn. Well, after a few holes, the camera crew showed up again and wanted to film some more and they specifically asked for me. I think it had something to do with that I was literally the only woman on the course that day. They must be marketing to women, or beginners (or they just liked my movie-star-style sunglasses I was wearing), because I can't think of any other reason they would want to film me. Anyway, I missed the ball twice before I got a good hit. And when I say missed, I mean that I put all of my energy into a full swing, and didn't even touch the ball. Not even to create enough wind to push it off the tee.

Thankfully, I hit it the 3rd time fairly well and got a thumbs up from the camera man. By then, my coworkers were loosened up with a few beers and we had a good laugh about it. It still makes me chuckle to think of them showing me in their commercial. Any real golfer will probably be horrified by my form :) But at least I've got moxy (whatever that is).

Labels, Schmabels

2009-03-09T23:12:00.000-07:00

I've always hated those personality tests that tell you what 'color' you are. Oh, you're a white, which means a peacemaker, or a yellow, which is fun-loving. What if I'm a yellow and I date a red, is it doomed? Whatever. The reason I hate those things is that they label people (as if we can be defined by just one dimension). Why can't we work to have the positive aspects of all the 'colors' and eliminate the negatives? What color would Jesus be?

My manager at work loves these things. He had us all take one of these tests (not a personality, but one related to working styles). I drives me crazy that he goes around and says things like, 'I'm just not a verifier, I'm a creator.' He seems to use it as an excuse to be a certain way. And I think, maybe you are like that, but maybe you should change! We can all change, you know. I just hate that he's determined my character based on what a 32 question survey says. Don't put me in a box. It's irritating.

Reminiscing

2009-03-07T13:52:00.000-08:00

I was looking through old photos yesterday and remembered so many fun parties, trips, and friends. Here are a few of my top picks. Most of them come from my 4 years in Boston.

Pick #1
I took a trip to London a few years ago just for the fun of it. I was out touring the city when I ran into a group of guys dressed like Elvis. They were there for an Elvis convention. They were all drunk (even though it was in the morning), and the little guy in the photo picked me up, swung me over his shoulder and started to walk away with me. I was so stunned (and surprised he had the strength to lift me), but laughed it off after he put me down.

Pick #2
I knew all these women from Boston and they are the cream of the crop. We went to a dueling piano bar one night and were inspired by the large painting of can-can dancers in the background.

Pick #3
My favorite.... I had a roommate in Boston who knows how to throw a party. For Valentine's Day one year, we had a party for everyone in our singles ward. She had a Polaroid camera and tons of film, so we decided to set up a 'photo corner' in our house and everyone got a little crazy with the camera. I'm so glad I scanned some of the best ones into my computer. We even had cupid show up and try to ignite some flames of love..... (I hope cupid doesn't mind that I posted this :)

The hunger

2009-03-03T22:15:00.000-08:00

I'm going to say it. Something that I'm surprised to be feeling lately and a feeling that I've never really struggled with until this past year.

I'm baby hungry.

It may be because I've had quite a few good friends have babies this past year (7 babies born, & 3 pregnancies so far- to be born this year), or it may be because I'm 'getting older', but I'm craving a little baby. It probably doesn't help that I read these friends blogs faithfully and see the adorable photos, videos, and stories of all things baby. Everywhere I turn, there's baby stuff. Three of my co-workers have babies, 2 more with a pregnant wife, I took over for a woman who just got back from maternity leave, 2 more co-workers are pregnant, and when I go to church (stake conference), I'm surrounded by the little munchkins.

I think in the past, I just focused my energy on finding a spouse. Well, that hasn't been working out, so it's like my body has moved on and said, 'hell, this is taking forever, time to get a baby!'

I just have to bury those feelings for now. Maybe I should go and visit my sister with 5 kids. That might help me smother the desire for awhile. (Don't be offended, Sue :)

A Series of Unfortunate Events

2009-03-02T20:08:00.000-08:00

I was feeling a little down today when I went to the store and ran into the Easter Candy display...

Damage:
Peeps (2 boxes)
Cadbury Creme eggs (1 box)
Cadbury mini-eggs (different than the creme-eggs, but oh so delicous!)
1 bag Jelly Belly jelly beans (coconut- I love the tropical flavors)
Gummy bears
Potato chips
Meringue cookies
Vanilla ice cream

Seriously, what's up with me.

Randomness

2009-02-19T22:54:00.000-08:00

I just bought a ticket to Salt Lake to go skiing in 3 weeks. Ahh, I'm looking forward to it.

My typing is set on italics right now and I don't know how to change it to regular. Oh well.

For some reason, I can't get to bed early lately. I really need to sleep and I'm tired, but just don't want to make the effort to get off the couch and go to bed. The effort it takes to wash my face and brush my teeth just seems too overwhelming right now.

I was feeling a little sad last night (missing someone) and the next thing I knew, I had eaten a whole bag of jolly ranchers. In the morning, my tongue was still blue.

Which reminds me- I love blue raspberry flavor. When I think of it, it sounds so odd. Why blue raspberry and not red raspberry? I've never seen a blue raspberry. As far as I know, they don't exist. But when I hear the flavor 'Blue raspberry', I just get a little giddy inside and feel like a kid again. Ooooo- it's not just raspberry, it's BLUE raspberry. I still get excited when I look at the Icee flavors in Target and they have Blue raspberry instead of just plain old cherry.

I was at Costco tonight and they had a guy giving demonstrations for a high quality blender. After tasting the delicious soup he made with it, I was really tempted to buy one. Still thinking about it......

Hobbies abound

2009-02-16T21:59:00.000-08:00

I was dating someone a few weeks ago and now we're not dating anymore, so I have more free time than usual. And, I've gone a little crazy with the hobbies.

Hobby #1
Guitar- I bought a guitar and I've been teaching myself how to play. It hasn't been too hard yet, since I read music very well, understand theory, and know how to practice. I'm going to take a group class at a shop down the street from where I live to get me going (but it starts in a month). So far, I can play a G major scale, several chords, and 'Yesterday' by the Beatles.

Hobby #2
Yoga- I don't know if this really counts as a hobby since it's just exercise and I should be doing it no matter what, but the gym at work has some good yoga instructors. I've always liked yoga and I feel so much more energetic when I exercise. I went to a power yoga class that just started up this past week, so only 3 people came. But, it was the best! The teacher was able to give us all individualized instruction, which made me work harder and I was so sore the next day. Bring it on.

Hobby #3
Glass blowing- I friend on mine took a glass blowing class and loved it. Her teacher is taking more students, so I signed up for a 4 week course. It's a small class of about 4 people, but we make something at each class (vase, pumpkin, flower, etc.) It hasn't started yet, but I'm looking forward to it.

Hobby #4
Ballroom Dance- I haven't been to class in awhile, but since it's a pay-when-you-come thing, I just go when I can. Eventually, I want to get a more permanent partner and go more frequently.

Just in case you're worried that I'm trying to do too much, I do take breaks when I need to. My roommate just got a Wii for her birthday. We spent all Saturday afternoon playing games. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. We both stood on this pad on the floor and had to run and jump over obstacles on the screen. I spent a little too much time creating my 'Mii' (my character on Wii). My favorite game was Outdoor Adventure and the jump rope, where the game would make a 'splat' sound if you didn't jump in time, and showed your Mii land flat on her face. So funny.

I bought a guitar!

2009-02-10T22:24:00.000-08:00

I've been feeling the need to have musical expression in my life again (now that I'm not working at a flute company anymore), so I bought a guitar. I got it from a friend for $90. It's a Yamaha, steel string, folk (6 string), and it sounds quite nice. I was so excited to go to the music store on Saturday and buy a few books. I got a beginning technique book, easy Beatles songs, and pop tunes made easy. I even discovered that there's an incredible guitar store down the street from me (I can literally walk there). They give beginner group lessons for 10 weeks at a reasonable price, so I'm going to sign up. Maybe I was meant to be a rock star. All I need now is a suitable rock star name. Suggestions welcome.

Raindrops on Roses....

2009-02-08T22:22:00.000-08:00

As promised, a few of my favorite things of late-

1) My new bedspread (purchased from Anthropologie). I love the colors! It just makes me happy to jump into bed.

2) The rain. It's rainy season now in this area and I love a good rainy day (especially when I can curl up in my comfy bed).

3) My new skin care regime. (Beware: I may sound like a commercial here.) I went to one of those booths set up in shopping areas and got a free skin analysis. I wasn't expecting anything great, but the lady showing me all the lotions and face washes convinced me to try this 'Antioxidant Hydramist'. I fully anticipated returning this after a few weeks, but it's turned out to be amazing. I feel very high maintanence when I use it- it sprays on in a light mist (hence the name- hydramist), but it hydrates my skin AND smells like roses.

4) Working out at the new gym. The place where I work has a new gym and I love it! The old one smelled funny all the time and was in an out of the way area. The new gym is 2 stories, new equipment, doesn't smell bad, and has a yoga class on Mondays/Wednesdays. I went 3 times last week and hope to keep it up.

That's it for now. More favorites to come later!

Random

2009-02-05T23:32:00.000-08:00

I don't have anything in particular to blog about today, but am trying to be more consistent in my posts. Blogging has become a really great way for me to stay in contact with good friends. It seems more interesting and honest than just sending an email asking 'so, how are you?' I really enjoy reading my friends blogs.

At this point, I feel the need to give a caveat about my blog. Most of the time I make a post it's because I need to express my feelings about something. I'm a passionate person and it helps for me to release my feelings. Since I usually get more worked up about things that frustrate me, I know a lot of my posts may seem like I'm sad or frustrated all the time. But, this isn't the case. Rather than venting all the time to my family or friends, I can get my feelings out on my blog and move on. I always appreciate the comments and support from all of you, just want you to know that I'm doing well.

I'm planning a post on a few of my current favorite things, but it's now almost midnight and I have work tomorrow. For another day......

I'm so bummed or pissed, can't decide

2009-02-02T23:37:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine came up to me at church on Sunday and we had the following conversation:

Friend: Hey, are you going on the big ski trip?
Me: Huh? What do you mean?
Friend: You know, the president's day trip. Everyone's going. Did you sign up?
Me: Well, I really want to go skiing, but I've never heard of it. What are the details?
Friend: Oh, well, all the cabins are full.
Me: Uh, Ok.
Friend: Didn't (insert name) tell you about it? I thought he would've told you about it.
Me: Apparently not. But, I really do want to go. I need a break. Are you sure everything's all full?
Friend: Oh yeah. It's gonna be awesome. You should've really signed up.

I hate being out of the loop, especially when everyone was invited except for me and the event was organized by really good friends of mine. I get plenty of invites from one of these friends regarding joining the family coalition or 'republicans on facebook', but seem to get bumped off the party list. I looked on the invite and over 100 people are going and they've been planning this for over a month. And of course, if I were a guy, there are still plenty of available spots. But, all the girl cabins are full. It sucks to be overlooked. Why do I still feel like I'm in grade school?

Other things on my mind

2009-01-26T20:22:00.001-08:00

Thanks to everyone for thinking of me. I've been down today, so I'm going to blog about some of my guilty pleasures. A few of my favorite TV shows of late.

Miss America: Countdown to the Crown- reality show with all of the Miss America contestants vying to win a 'golden sash'. The golden sash gives them a chance to be in the final 15 of the real competition. I also watched the Miss America contest this past weekend because after watching the countdown, I had to know who won! I like the girl who won, Miss Indiana, she seemed smart and well-spoken.

Superstars of Dance- if you don't know by now that I'm obsessed with all things dance, then you haven't read my blog. My favorite dance team? The Groovaloos- a hip hop street dance sensation! Oh, and Michael Flatley is the host. Maybe it's just his accent, but man, he's still hot.

I might be an idiot

2009-01-25T21:37:00.000-08:00

I just made a really hard decision and don't know if it's the right one. I've been pondering and agonizing about a particular issue lately. Either way I go, there's risk and doubt and potentially regret. I know I'm being vague, but this is a very personal issue that I want to be careful about posting.

I'm really trying to follow my heart on this one. It's hard when your heart is confused. I'm trying to seek the guidance of God and I hope to feel peace about this, but I also fear that I've hurt someone. Someone I love deeply. Maybe I'm a fool. That's a very real possibility. I just hope that time will clarify things and that if I have made a colossal mistake, that it won't be too late to fix.

San Fran visit

2008-12-26T09:27:00.000-08:00

My cousin came for a visit during Thanksgiving and took some amazing photos. He's an excellent photographer and my favorite is this one of the Coit Tower in downtown San Fran. Beautiful!

Merry Christmas! and spy games

2008-12-26T09:04:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to all! I'm in Arizona for a few days, visiting family. I'm enjoying time off work and being completely lazy. I've been watching movies all day with my nieces and nephews. We watched a few episodes of the original TV series- 'Mission Impossible'. I have to say that I loved that show, but watching it years later, I noticed a few things I didn't before.

For those of you unfamiliar with the original (sans Tom Cruise) show, it's all about a team of experts that engage in very elaborate spy-like missions (the impossible mission force). They do what no one else can do. The team consists of a few core people, including a leader, a woman, the technical guy, a body builder, and maybe a few other accomplices (depending on the mission). Guess what the woman's name is?

Cinnamon.

I couldn't believe it! A special task force, expertly trained spy is named Cinnamon. She walks around looking gorgeous and her spy skills consist of distracting men with her good looks. Maybe I like the Tom Cruise version more afterall.

Rocket Launch

2008-12-09T20:24:00.000-08:00

Here are links to photos and video of the rocket launch.

Lunar rocket launch photos

The Sledgehammer video

too busy to be coherent- random post again

2008-12-07T18:26:00.000-08:00

I've been so busy lately that I haven't been blogging. I wrote one politically charged post, but never had the guts to post. Maybe later...

for now- I'm listening to 'Disturbia' by Rihanna and love it.

I'm stressed about work tomorrow. I have a ton to do and I hate working on Sunday night.

I went to a Rocket launch yesterday. It's basically for a group of amateurs who are obsessed with rocketry. They go out into a remote area and shoot off their home-made rockets. It was actually kind of fun. They have one pinata rocket filled with candy that explodes and spreads goodies everywhere for the kids. I'm beginning to understand the obsession.

One more random thought...

2008-11-01T10:44:00.000-07:00

I'm getting a little more chunky. Now, I know I'm not fat, but I've always been really skinny and now, I'm just average. Nothing wrong with it, but I've noticed that my pants are tighter lately. I have a little extra cushion all around. Welcome to normalcy.

Random thoughts- laughing, politics, dancing, work

2008-11-01T10:22:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I don't blog because I don't have anything particular to say, so here are some random thoughts:

Work is busy, really busy, but I actually enjoy most of what I do. It feels good to be engaged in my work all day long. I'm never bored.

Have I mentioned how much I love dancing shows? 'Dancing with the stars' is the best! I'm rooting for Brooke Burke.

I hate prop 8.

There are times that I really need a good laugh and reading my friend's blogs are the perfect release. They are hilarious. I wish I were that funny. but seriously, I have tears running down my cheeks laughing at some of their posts today. It's so good to laugh.

I love fall in California. It's getting windy and rainy, but still warm. the perfect combination.

I have quite a few friends that are new parents and I'm loving reading about their new parental experiences. It's amazing to see their kids grow and I'm proud of them. Go moms and dads!

Back to prop 8- I don't hate that we're voting on this issue, but I'm getting burned out on politics. I've been deluged with this for the past few months and I know it's an important issue, but I hear about it non-stop. We have firesides, calling parties, church announcements, emails, more emails, phone calls, bumper stickers, signs, commercials, more emails. Enough already. I guess I'm not a political activist at heart. Don't hate me for it.

Happy birthday to me!

2008-10-27T19:26:00.001-07:00

Here are some photos from my birthday gathering:
Me with my roommate, Segie. She's an adorable, tiny Mongolian. I practically have to get on my knees to be her same height.

Tony- a hunky friend from business school.

My birthday cake- we didn't even try to fit 34 candles on it. Wise choice.

With my friend, Jesse. He's my gchat, text-in-church buddy.

Before...After

2008-10-18T16:50:00.001-07:00

Before.....

and......

After.......

I love to laugh

2008-10-14T23:25:00.000-07:00

A friend sent me this video. I have no idea why it's produced, or what it's for, but it made me laugh. It's long- 40 minutes- (like watching a TV show), but it's worth it. A bit quirky and bizarre, but really funny. If you don't have that much time, just watch the first 2 minutes and it'll bring a smile to your face.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/28343/dr-horribles-sing-along-blog
(or click on the title of this post to go to the link)

Birthday

2008-10-07T22:42:00.001-07:00

I'm turning 34 this month. I don't know how I feel about it. A little weird, like the number has no meaning. 34- sounds so arbitrary. I guess I don't really like the sound of it after all. I want to do something dramatic. Cutting my hair super short is as far as I'll go, but that is a good idea. My hair is really long right now- down to the middle of my back. and I've been thinking about going almost boy-short. If I do, I'll post pictures.

Finally posting!

2008-10-07T19:54:00.000-07:00

I've been so bad at posting lately. Not sure why, other than I'm still really busy at work. The more I learn, the more I realize there's more to learn. It's kinda like life.

I needed to get a few things checked on my car and I took a friend's recommendation for a mechanic. I dropped it off this morning and was so impressed with this guy's garage. He's a 1 man show- has a garage with room for 2 cars bumper to bumper. He's oriental and speaks with an accent. His garage is incredibly clean and there are beautiful plants and wood trusses on the exterior of the garage. It felt like I was in a Fung Shui haven. I hope he's just as good fixing cars.

Fluting

2008-09-21T17:27:00.000-07:00

Many of you know that I play the flute. It was a huge part of my life for about 20 years. A lot of things led me to sort of give it up to go to business school and now that I've started my new career, I don't play much. And when I do play, it's sort of a strange sensation to approach something so familiar in a new way. I can tell that my fingers aren't quite as fast, but my memory of all the scales and notes hasn't faded.

I played in church today and it felt so good. I played a version of "A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief." A church audience is the easiest audience in the world. Everyone loves it. I'll hear the sweetest compliments like, "I've never heard a flute sound so good." Or, "I didn't want it to stop!" Church people are the best with compliments.

So, I'm missing my fluting days a little bit today. Good thing there's always a church audience.

Progression

2008-09-07T00:17:00.000-07:00

This summer has brought so many exciting things to my friends. Just this past month, I’ve heard of 4 marriages/engagements and 4 babies born. There are a few more expecting babies and impending marriages. Many of these friends I’ve seen struggle with situations in life, whether infertility or divorce or struggling through years of being single and feeling alone. Now, in some sense, their dreams are coming true. In the area of personal progression, they are on a roll! It makes me feel so happy and excited for them. They each deserve these blessings.

But I feel something else as well:
jealousy

I know I shouldn’t, but I do. I’m a little hurt that I’m left behind. It kind of breaks my heart.

I want to be the one getting married and having a baby. I want to be the one with a reason to celebrate. I’ve done my time, waited patiently, kept the faith, fought a good fight. Now, don’t I deserve the reward? I know this is a totally self-centered way to think. I’m taking my friend’s success and making it my misery. This is a stupid thing to do. I shouldn’t compare myself with anyone. But I still do.

Besides, I know that marriage is not a reward for being faithful. I think a lot of people express feelings that it is, but that doesn’t make any sense. Any moron can get married. It just takes finding someone you want to marry, who also wants to marry you. I guess I’m looking for a quality marriage, which is more elusive. And, my faithfulness doesn’t affect anyone else’s right to choose or reject me.

A friend of mine told me the other day that women in the church should settle for the 2nd rate guy if necessary, because there are less single men in the church than women. That guys not only CAN be more picky, but that they SHOULD be more picky with women, just because they have more to choose from. He thinks I’m too picky. (because I didn’t want him, I guess).

What small things shape our lives. I can’t help but wonder if my life would be very different if I had stayed longer in a certain area, or moved earlier. It doesn’t matter because I make the best decisions I can in the moment, but I still wonder. Does God have a plan in mind for my life? Or is it just more of a haphazard evolution?

It’s getting late and I’m tired. A perfect time for my mom to tell me to stop thinking about this and go to bed. She’s right. I’m going to sleep away these thoughts and tomorrow, go visit a great friend, her husband, and new beautiful baby. And I’ll be genuinely happy for them.

A non-tomato post- Dance Fever!

2008-08-24T14:09:00.001-07:00

My obsession with tomatoes will subside. In the meantime, a few more obsessions have surfaced:

1) watching the olympics- I've lost so much sleep lately, staying up to see who wins the latest race or volleyball tournament. I don't ever get into volleyball or swimming outside of the Olympics, but for whatever reason, the olympics are different.
2) Michael Phelps- he's just so darn cute! I was cheering for him all the way. Go for the 8 golds, Michael!
3) Cheesecake factory's Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake, with extra whipped cream. Wow. and this is coming from a girl who doesn't like the taste of cream cheese. but put it with a bunch of chocolate and whipped cream and it's a winner.
4) This brings me to my most exciting obsession: Ballroom dancing.

I've always loved dancing shows and I took a few dance classes at BYU. well, I've been missing dancing, so I signed up for a class at a studio here in Redwood city. This is no beginner's class, where you spend an hour learning 1 step. This is an advanced class- where we learn the entire dance in an hour. (and there are some good dancers in the class). I felt a little lost, but I'm still going to go. I'm not sure what it is about dancing with a partner, maybe it's that I don't get much physical contact in my normal life and it feels good to connect with someone, or maybe it's that I just love the beautiful motions created while dancing, but I'm hooked. This is one habit I don't want to break.

A survivor!

2008-08-24T14:04:00.000-07:00

I found a small survivor of the tomato worm attack of '08. I ate this beauty right after the photo shoot. Sweet and delicious.

Poor Tomato

2008-08-20T00:04:00.001-07:00

I picked my first tomato from my plant today. It was large, plump, ripe, and.......

had a worm in it. :( I was so disappointed! How did that worm get there? I have this plant on a 2nd story balcony, in a small pot. How did this happen? I tried to cut off the worm eaten portion, but was so disgusted by it all that I tossed the whole thing. At least there are a few other tomatoes on there. I'll let you know if they survive.

To-MAY-to, To-MA-to

2008-08-08T18:06:00.000-07:00

My tomatoes are getting big and juicy. I don't know why, but I'm just obsessed with them. The idea of eating something that I've grown is irresistible. I've watered my plants everyday, seeing the flowers, then tiny buds, then development of minuscule tomatoes. It's a miracle, really.

It's official- I'm a nerd

2008-08-08T17:54:00.000-07:00

I caught myself having this conversation with a coworker:

"Do you know that there are at least 2 different ways to accrue expenses?"
"Yes, and I find it fascinating that there isn't a company standard in this area."
"I know, but I prefer to accrue all at once and then reverse those accruals."
"I agree, I do the same."

What have I become?!

Green Thumb

2008-08-03T18:55:00.001-07:00

This week was about the same as last, so I'm going to focus on a few positives in my life right now:

The new stephenie meyer book came in the mail this week. This is the 4th and last book in the series- about mostly friendly vampires.
After having to wear my glasses for that past 3 weeks, I got new contacts. Ah, I can see again.
I bought tickets for the 'So you think you can dance' tour! (my favorite reality TV show)
And, my tomato plants have tomatoes!
Look at these beauties-

day-from-hell No. 1

2008-07-23T23:11:00.001-07:00

It was bound to come- yesterday was a day from hell. It's always overwhelming starting a new job, so I give myself 3, maybe 4, days-from-hell allowed. Well, yesterday was the first. I even wrote it on my calendar at work- 'Day-from-Hell', just to memorialize the experience.

woke up with day 3 of a migraine headache- the kind that makes my brain feel like mush (which isn't very conducive to retaining information) the headache lasted all day, into the next
worked my butt off to get a project done, just to be told to remember all the other things i need to do
unrealistic expectations from myself and my manager
organized a meeting- room was rejected, so arranged another room- rejected, arranged a phone call meeting, no phone available in conference room (hello- i work for a company that makes phones?)
arrive late to meeting that I'm supposed to be running
have all my notes taken out of my hand when the 'boss' needs to see them
can't access the wireless in the room to look at my prepared file (again- what company do I work for?)
have to run the meeting blind- no notes, no computer, no information
and so much more........

Even with all of the caos, I managed to keep a good attitude. I'm actually proud of myself. I only almost cried once. I didn't lose my temper, or vent to any coworkers. Overall, I think I passed the test. It helps that I'm getting paid really well and that eventually, I'll know what I'm doing :)

I do love macs

2008-07-16T21:01:00.000-07:00

I love macintosh computers. I used one all through business school and now for my personal use. Work got me a PC computer when I started, which I have to use for work (of course). I just have to say that's it's so ugly! It's clunky and not very beautiful. It has this big extra battery just sticking out of the back of it. Why isn't the regular battery enough?

Sometimes I wonder why PC lovers can't see that. Even if they argue that they have a better OS system or more access to compatible software, it seems indisputable that Apple computers are soooo much more gorgeous in design. I wonder why they don't seem to notice the difference?

Hammock photo

2008-07-13T18:25:00.001-07:00

Hammock + sunshine + cool breeze + sunday afternoon nap = perfection

Venting

2008-07-13T18:06:00.001-07:00

I need to vent sometimes and my blog has become a good avenue for this. I think this is a good thing because then my friends & family (especially mom) don't have to suffer through my frustrations. I can just write about it and be done with it. I just hope that my blog readers don't think I have the worst attitude in the world.

Well, I vented about something a little while ago, forgetting who I've given my blog address to, and this person read it. How embarrassing. I didn't mention any names, of course, but it was obvious to this person who I was referring to.

So, just wanted to say I'm sorry to this person (you know who you are :)

Beautiful weather

2008-07-13T17:48:00.001-07:00

California has the most beautiful weather. I just bought a hammock for my porch and enjoyed an afternoon nap in the shade, with the cool breeze blowing through my hair. Perfect afternoon.